#33. Krytie TV (Series VIII)
Even taking into account that it was made 26 years ago, spying on unsuspecting women in the shower is such a rotten and creepy premise for an episode. I don't think it's explicitly out of character for these characters, but outside of one scene with Kochanski (Chloe Annette is a trooper here), the episode barely addresses how awful this is. It's my least favourite episode because I don't appreciate how sleazy the show gets here.
#32. Duct Soup (Series VII)
I felt Marooned was overrated to begin with. This is Marooned without the Lister/Rimmer chemistry, the windy isolation or the gags. It's bone-crushingly boring, and pushes Kryten's character to the point of being extremely unlikable.
#31. Pete (Series VIII)
The running gag of Lister and Rimmer being sent to the captain's office is great. Everything else is shockingly terrible, from the stupid dinosaur to the Time Wand (the king of all Red Dwarf deus ex machinas, it literally does whatever Doug feels like) to the horny basketball game (???) to Kryten's penis. It's Red Dwarf at its most sketch show, having abandoned all pretense of giving a shit about internal logic or characters.
#30. Can of Worms (Series XI)
I give this episode two points: one for Dominique Moore's terrific performance as the female Cat, and two for being more or less coherent. Like Krytie TV, I find this one very icky. Cat describes getting a blowjob, then he gets pregnant, then he gives birth to little monsters... I don't know, it's not one I ever want to sit through again. A lot of the jokes (and the premise) are also shamelessly recycled from past episodes.
#29. Siliconia (Series XII)
Not awful, but it's just... it's one joke. The crew wear Kryten costumes. That's it. There's no real substance or point to the rest of it. A few interesting ideas crop up as the episode goes on (Rimmer feeling more fulfilled as a mechanoid than his old self, Kryten not knowing whether he serves Lister by choice or by programming), but they're all quickly sidelined and forgotten.
#28. Entangled (Series X)
There's about three or four great ideas for an episode here that have all been smashed together into a very unsatisfying whole. The production issues behind the scenes have never been more apparent, as Entangled struggles to have any kind of coherent plot. At least it has a nice grimdark final scene, which I'm fond of for its sheer ice-cold brutality.
#27. Ouroboros (Series VII)
It's functional. It does its job introducing the new Kochanski and her dynamics with Lister and Kryten. I sort of like the idea of Lister trying to protect humanity with a time loop. There's a cool flashback to pre-accident Red Dwarf. But the jokes are all laboured, the absence of Rimmer feels very strange, the sudden GELF cameo is bizarre to say the least and overall it's just kind of dull.
#26. The Beginning (Series X)
I love the idea of giving Rimmer this grand redemption arc, and tying it back to his father. Also him coming up with the strategy to defeat the Simulants is great. What doesn't work is almost everything. There's an endless amount of contrivances, most of the jokes miss, the retcon about Rimmer's father I'm not fond of. The Simulants are the most pony we've ever seen.
#25. Back to Earth (Series IX)
Putting aside its value in bringing back Red Dwarf and treating it exclusively as a standalone adventure... it's 'bit crap' as miss Bartikovsky might say. The miniseries is massively carried by its gorgeous visual effects and by Craig Charles' emotional performance (easily his best in the entire show). Much like series 7, it's not nearly as funny without an audience. The metafictional aspect isn't done in a way that I would have found interesting. Most of the guest characters on Earth are extremely irritating (the shopkeeper, the guy they got Carbug from). The fact that the crew's creator is not played by Doug Naylor is a major pet peeve.
#24. Lemons (Series X)
This is a fairly competently told little time-travel romp, it's just that as a Christian, I'm not very fond of Doug Naylor's choice of subject matter. I realise it's not the real Jesus, but regardless, I felt it hit a little too close to home, especially when he began ranting about how silly the Ten Commandments were. It's just not made for me, and I'm okay with that. But I do really like some parts of it. The lemon battery itself is a fun idea for a MacGuffin, probably educational for kids. The idea of the crew roaming ancient Earth for months is fantastic, and could have been used for a travelogue-style multi-parter if they had more money. It certainly stands out in series 10 as a colourful and exciting episode. I just wish I enjoyed the rest of it.
#23. Timewave (Series XII)
The jokes aren't that great and the script lacks a solid internal logic, but I'm very forgiving towards Timewave. I just find the premise inherently funny and I like that Doug Naylor had the chutzpah to mock the sacred Twitter safe spaces and people who hate criticism of anything they love. It's arguably the show at its most overtly dated, brazenly showing off its old-school punk 1980s attitude in a totally different cultural environment, but that's what makes it work for me. Red Dwarf refuses to change what it is. I'm happy with that.
#22. Epideme (Series VII)
It's the Gary Martin show. I find his showman-like performance of the virus hysterically funny. Everything outside of his scenes is crap. That being said, I thought Lister's confrontation with Epideme to be one of Lister's strongest moments in the whole show, and it could have been a pretty epic ending for the character if they chose to kill him off.
#21. Skipper (Series XII)
Rimmer in the multiverse is an idea that is almost impossible to cock up, and in fairness, they don't. But it could have been a lot better, and the whole first half with its own shenanigans should have been cut and used for some lesser episode to bolster it up. The multiverse deserved all the focus. Instead, it feels like a nostalgiabaiting gimmick with some weak cameos (it's nice to see Norman Lovett and Mac MacDonald, but neither are utilised well) and an over-emphasis on the series 1 era of the show. There's also next to no pathos in any of it.
#20. M-Corp (Series XII)
The premise and the performances are pretty incredible - as villains, M-Corp might genuinely be the most threatening and creepy in Red Dwarf history - but there's just too many logic issues for my liking, especially with the climax, which is nonsensical fan service for the sake of it. I did enjoy seeing Lister briefly have to cope with solitude again.
#19. Only the Good... (Series VIII)
Pretty much just a series of comedy sketches strung together. But I really like the jokes! The 'have a fantastic period' gag is a classic. Rimmer's rivalry with the vending machine cracks me up. The cell inspection is another brilliant moment. It's refreshing to see them finally leave the prison. That setting is like an albatross around the neck of series 8. If Doug had kept the original deleted ending, this episode would be much higher. It's not great by any means, but it's consistently funny.
#18. Samsara (Series XI)
It's fantastic until about halfway through. The murder mystery is well conceived and interesting, I like all the clues we get. There's a fantastic bunkbed scene between Rimmer and Lister, always appreciated. But at a certain point, the script starts over-explaining itself to the point of being patronising, and Kryten gets his answers basically from thin air. Even if the audience saw what happened, that doesn't mean he should magically know! There's very few laughs after the opening scene.
#17. Cassandra (Series VIII)
This is a frustrating one for me, because I absolutely adore Geraldine McEwan. The idea of Rimmer trying to use semantics to wriggle out of his impending doom is genuinely clever in a Dr Who sort of way, and the potential hook-up between him and Kochanski is equal parts horrifying and hilarious. The trouble is that I don't think the actual plot makes any kind of sense.
#16. Tikka to Ride (Series VII)
If you can ignore the fact that the time travel rules don't add up, this makes for a fun and entertaining romp with a lot of visual flair. The characterisation of the crew is a little off, particularly for Lister, who is reduced to a currymongering idiot in this one. I really liked the actor playing Kennedy.
#15. Nanarchy (Series VII)
I thought it was interesting to see how each crewmember reacted to Lister's new disability. One of the things classic Red Dwarf did so well is present the crew with a situation to deal with, and have that be what shines a spotlight on their individual behaviours. Extra bonus points for the return of Norman Lovett and the Red Dwarf reveal.
#14. Give & Take (Series XI)
It's just kind of there, but there's nothing especially wrong with it. It's your basic time loop adventure, almost a runaround. Snacky is an amusing guest star, and Danny John-Jules gives one of his best performances when the Cat has to convince Lister to donate a kidney.
#13. Beyond a Joke (Series VII)
I don't know why this one has such a bad reputation. I've enjoyed it more and more on each rewatch. When it comes to Kryten's jealousy, this is one of the better stories because he goes so cartoonishly over-the-top with it. Love the tank in Jane Austen World. Don Henderson is possibly my favourite Simulant, he's absolutely fantastic in that part. Cunning, ghoulish and memorable in an oddball sort of way. Robert Llewelyn's performance as a 1990s drug PSA on legs cracks me up too. There's great music. The only downside is that the dialogue is mostly rubbish.
#12. Back in the Red (Series VIII)
For as many baffling and idiotic moments this one has, there's also a ton of excitement and originality. It's really cool to see the crew resurrected, and all the fallout that comes from that. After so much of the show has been an anthology, bringing continuity to the forefront feels rewarding, it gives me a feeling of having gone full circle. Unlike the rest of series 8, the posse are actually running around the gorgeously redesigned ship interior, interacting with the crew. We get to see life onboard Red Dwarf. It also has one of my favourite scenes in all of Red Dwarf, in which Holly admits that he was responsible for a lot of Lister's adventures.
#11. Trojan (Series X)
While the reveal that Howard was just like Arnold is a little offputting, the rest of the episode is such a great time, and a welcome return to traditional Red Dwarf. I adore the Stirmaster subplot. It's also the one with the moose gags and the beach ball of death. The guest cast are simply spectacular.
#10. Mechocracy (Series XII)
It's very lightweight political satire. Mostly I just enjoy this one for its cozy shipbound vibe. These are the type of stories I really loved from the early years and I appreciate having more of them now. David Ross has a great cameo. The "when does a document become a document" gag is just incredible. The mutual smear campaigns are great. And it's always a lot of fun to hate Rimmer..
#9. Dear Dave (Series X)
Also has a cozy shipbound vibe, but with the added edge of Lister going through depression. I thought his little love triangle with the vending machines was adorable. His concern over possibly having been a parent humanizes him. Rimmer's subplot about trying to outwit the ship's automatic computer was good too.
#8. Twentica (Series XI)
It's a fun romp. There isn't any thought required, but sometimes that's perfectly ok. I love the big joke about scientists being akin to an underground brothel. The guest cast are clearly having a lot of fun. The American setting gives it some style and panache.
#7. Officer Rimmer (Series XI)
Basically just one joke - what if Rimmer was dialed up to eleven? And well, that's a pretty fantastic joke. Chris Barrie is being a diva for the entire episode and I enjoy almost every minute of it.
#6. Stoke Me a Clipper (Series VII)
Barring a few logic issues, this is as great a sendoff to Rimmer's character as one could hope for. It's certainly the best outing for Ace, with some of the most memorable setpieces in the show's run. I dare anyone not to feel a little emotional when Lister posthumously promotes him to officer, or at the sincere conversations and hug that they share. "See you, Davey boy." "Yeah, good luck, man." Very beautifully handled.
#5. Blue (Series VII)
Blue is a little odd in that it's a second attempt to say goodbye to Rimmer, except instead of celebrating his inner heroism like Stoke Me a Clipper, it's honoring what he meant to the show as a whole... in other words, his smegheadedness. But I still think it's a wonderful tribute and nostalgic look back to the relationship he and Lister shared, even if it's leaning towards seeing him as being just a git after all. And it's got the Rimmer Experience, which is one of the best moments ever.
#4. The Promised Land (Series XIII)
The Dave era of the show firing on all cylinders, with perfected cinematography, humour, performances, and a tremendous sense of adventure. I like that the cast all have something meaningful to do, I love having Norman at his peak again for the first time since 1988. For a movie, it's paced economically and never feels like it's too slow or too overstuffed.
#3. Krysis (Series XI)
Of all the Doug Naylor episodes, this one feels the closest to the BBC era. There's two memorable guest characters, there's a bold and unique concept, the script delves fairly deep into one of the main cast. It's more slow-moving and patient. It could easily slot in to series 4.
#2. Cured (Series XII)
A superlative parody of John Carpenter's the Thing, with a highly memorable guest turn from Ryan Gage as a bizarro version of Hitler. You can't hate an episode where Lister and Hitler jam out on electric guitars. It's also the best-ever episode when it comes to the Cat's characterisation.
#1. Fathers and Suns (Series X)
In terms of pure entertainment, this is one of the very best Red Dwarfs. I adore Rebecca Blackstone's performance as Pree. She's my favourite guest star in the show. The dark humour behind her character is just so perfectly done. Lister coping with his depression by creating a 'father' identity to push him out of his rut is some of the show's best writing. I don't personally have an issue with the slightly dodgy Taiwan Tony stuff. It's not meant to stereotype other cultures, but make fun of how oblivious the crew themselves are to the racial ramifications.
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