Polymorph has a fun premise and some great atmosphere, but it doesn't make a lick of sense.
PLOT
A genetically engineered mutant escapes captivity and attacks Red Dwarf, stripping the crew of their defining emotions. They struggle to hunt it down whilst dealing with their new personalities.
THOUGHTS
I was really hoping to enjoy this one. It's a popular episode, and this show parodying horror movies feels like it should be a match made in heaven. To its credit, it is beautifully directed. For example, the sequence where the crew enters the cargo bay armed with bazookoids is bathed in terrific red and blue lighting, there's lots of shadows, a very echo-y soundscape. It should be tense and exciting. Or at least it would be if it wasn't a total mess scriptwise.
Logic appears to have been thrown out of the window from the opening scene, which depicts Lister trying to create the Cat a nice dinner using medical equipment. The only explanation for why he uses medical equipment is that he's "tired of using plastic utensils". Why do they only have plastic utensils? Why would Lister go to the trouble of creating a fancy dinner when
A) The Cat never appreciates effort anyway.
and
B) Lister is working class, and despises people who drink wine.
Why is there a microwave that cooks a perfect dinner when you throw nonsense into it? Why would Lister bother to clean a scalpel? If it's a scalpel, it means it's clean. Used scalpel blades are instantly discarded.
But hey, "It's cleaaaan, man, it's been cleaaaaned!"
Yes, it's an amusing notion, but I just wish they bothered creating a remotely believable context for it, because the joke would land so much harder. It's all punchline and no setup.
The other big swing and a miss is the actual effect of the Polymorph. The idea of depriving the characters of some major emotion and seeing how they function is really interesting, but the only person whose reaction is remotely believable is Kryten (he stops feeling guilty, and turns into a sociopath).
Lister is deprived of fear, but why does that turns him into a raging maniac instead of just 'Lister as a daredevil'? Yes, I know it's funnier this way, but again, my whole point is that the setup is so weak for what they want to accomplish. Rimmer and the Cat's transformations aren't even worth discussing for how ludicrous they are (costume changes??). At least with the random effects of pneumonia from Confidence and Paranoia, you could argue that it's been in deep space being exposed to who knows what, so I can suspend my disbelief. But the Polymorph is explicitly a human creation, and the script never indicates it's turned alien or developed.
Speaking of the Polymorph, I'd love to know whose idea it was to add 'emotional vampire' on top of 'shapeshifting killing machine'. Wouldn't the latter be sufficient? Ah well.
To top it all off, the episode has a strangely abrupt ending where a random stroke of convenience kills off the villain. Not particularly satisfying, that. It really is a pity because I think a more coherent storyline about the crew duking it out with a shapeshifter could be pretty badass. And there are a few great moments worth considering. The Polymorph turning into Lister's underpants is iconic, not least because the audience are audibly pissing their pants laughing. Have to praise the writers for that.
CHARACTERS
Being an intentionally shallow monster flick, Polymorph doesn't have a lot of characterisation going on outside of the transformations (and the bizarre dinner skit at the beginning).
Although I just whinged about Rimmer, I did find his hippie shtick hilarious, although that might be because he's physically and vocally the spitting image of my college professor, and Chris Barrie doing an impression of him was not on my bingo card.
Robert Llewelyn still has room to develop his Kryten performance. What's with the extra dramatic "IT'S INSANE!" line delivery? Did he turn into the Cryptkeeper for a second? He also overplays the nervousness to the point of becoming actually irritating at times.
Danny John-Jules is busy doing an unfunny precursor to his Duane Dibbley bit.
For some reason, the Polymorph has a voice (probably so the inanimate objects would show a little personality). It's just a shame that it's a high-pitched whimpering. Doesn't exactly inspire tension.
NOTES
- I like Rimmer's suspenders. I wish he wore those all the time, instead of that tunic. They just look more Rimmer-y somehow.
- Why is Rimmer's family so psychotic? I know he talked about his father, but now it seems like every single one of them was a maniac. What was going on there??
- Kryten debuts the infamous Space Corps Directives running gag in this episode.
- Seems like Rimmer has given up his love for aliens, considering his first reaction to hearing about a potential lifeform was to shoot it. Maybe it was Lister's socks that finally pushed him over the edge.
- Okay, I'll bite. Why does a crap mining ship come with portable heat-seeking missile launchers?
- Why did Rimmer disappear right before Kryten was emotion-sucked? That was a little too convenient.
- Why would Rimmer ever think that the Polymorph is his mother? I get that he'd be upset to see a duplicate of her lust over Lister, but... it's not her. So why the explosive outburst?
- Lister with his red scarf and baseball bat has clearly been taking fashion tips from Negan.
- Frances Barber's cameo was cute.
- Chris Barrie shouting "Guilty!" would've won an audition for Megamind.
- How can the Polymorph even affect Kryten and Rimmer? Why couldn't it affect Holly then?
- Lister confesses to sharing his kebab recipe with Petersen, which sent the latter to Sickbay for a week.
- Kryten inexplicably knows that Rimmer used to be called "Bonehead" as a child (which was mentioned by Lister in the series 2 premiere).
CONCLUSION
There's the bones of a good episode in there somewhere, but it's too lazy.
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