Kryten (1988) Review

Kryten isn't a particularly well told story, but the show is so funny at this point that it practically doesn't even matter. 

PLOT

The crew rescue a robot named Kryten, who is programmed to look after humans and has been caring for skeletons for the past three million years. Much to Lister's disgust, Rimmer immediately recruits Kryten to be his personal servant. Lister begins a quest to convince Kryten to be free. 

THOUGHTS

It cannot be understated how much of a step up this is from the production of Series I. The acting's better, the budget's bigger, the production looks nicer (I especially love the use of saturated colour) and most importantly, the script is WAY stronger. The dialogue just sings. Every other line in Kryten is iconic, from the dog's milk routine to "Still, you've got to laugh innit?" to "Driving Rimmer nuts is what keeps me going!". It's so watchable and punchy that you forget the actual narrative is a bit bollocks. 

So they find this deranged robot that has been alone for three million years, and immediately think it's a good idea to just bring it along and hope it doesn't kill them all? Kryten is able to adapt instantly to the massive changes in his life? Watching a few movies is all it takes to turn him into Marlon Brando? It's all very rushed and unconvincing. I guess it's a perfect example of ignoring glaring holes as long as you're having fun. And Kryten is buckets of fun, that much is true. 

CHARACTERS

Norman Lovett as Holly is now at the very height of his powers. Every word out of his mouth is complete and utter gold in this season. 

Chris Barrie and Danny John-Jules are also just exceptional now. The Cat is much more integrated into the story than before and feels like a member of the group, but still has just the right amount of side scenes to make us feel that he does his own thing whenever he wants. Rimmer is more likable than he used to be, but still has that anal retentive quality that makes him so funny and such a believably real person. 

Craig Charles isn't quite at his best, but he is still greatly improved from Series I. The background acting has stopped and his line deliveries are much more natural. Lister pushing to end Kryten's slavery is a very heroic moment from him, and sets him up as someone who is capable of taking charge when it's needed. 

Of course, this episode has the novelty of featuring David Ross in his one and only appearance as Kryten. Ross is fine, although on this particular watchthrough, I did find his squeaky voice a little annoying. In regards to this prototype portrayal of Kryten, my attention was mainly drawn towards aspects of his personality that I had totally forgotten, such as his secret desire for a personal garden. Why is this never mentioned again? They even foreshadow it with the Nova 5 being full of cultivated plantlife. It's such a lovely dream for him to have, and they could've done so many jokes with it once he joined the crew. Ah well. 

NOTES

• I love the more dramatic title drop at the start. KRYTEN. And the music goes "bam-bam!" like it's a horror film. It's great. What's with the insanely large font though?
• The model shots are just gorgeous. And so atmospheric!
• Having been in an art college, Lister's description of it is all too relatable. 
• So who did use up the bog roll? My money's on Cat doing a rendition of The Mummy or something. 
• I never noticed until now that the reason Lister's trousers have a hole in them is because he left the iron on them. 
• Can we just appreciate that the Cat designed his own functional spacesuit? Clearly, he's not as stupid as he looks. 
• Kryten's head looks like it's made out of plaster in this episode, but all those dents and creases do give it a believable age that the later, more perfect models do not. 
• I'm deeply curious about Lister's upbringing now. We know he was found under a pool table in a box. We know that a grandmother brought him up (presumably adopted), and now we know that his mother was apparently just as servile and whinging as Kryten, which might explain Lister's dislike for such behaviour. Did his adopted mother hand him off to his grandmother?
• I actually quite like Kryten's redesign of the bunkroom. The wooden furniture is especially lovely. 
• What is a "total Gwenlyn"?
• Cat's multicoloured shirt is so 1980s lol. 
• I like how awkward Kryten's rebellion is. It really feels like someone who doesn't quite know how to stand up doing his best to stand up, so he just kinda freaks out, throws some stuff around and speaks in movie quotes. Oh lord, Kryten's a neckbeard. 

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY

• Rimmer and Lister apparently tried to pick up girls together, which I find difficult to believe. 
• The Esperanto studying continues! Last seen in Me2. 
• Rimmer gets excited about aliens again, as he did in Waiting for God. 

FUNNIEST MOMENT

LISTER: "Listen girls, I don't know whether this is the time or the place to tell you, but my mate Ace here is incredibly-credibly brave!"

RIMMER: "Smeg off, dog food face!"

LISTER: "And he's got just tons and tons of girlfriends!"

SMEG OFF!

The ending is a bit of a shambles. Apparently Kryten was supposed to fly off on his space bike, explaining why he doesn't show up again until Series III, but the model shot didn't come out right. So instead we end on a freeze frame and no explanation of what happened to him. It's not even very clear that the space bike is a space bike, given that we've only ever seen Lister drive it slowly around the corridors.